I am a working mom and traveling for work is one of the hardest things I have to do. I feel so much guilt and anxiety every time I leave my son and he looks at me like "mommy do you have to go?". I also feel terrible leaving my husband behind to raise our boy as a single father for the one to two weeks that I have to be away working at a time and what is upon me/us this month is so exciting but weighs so heavy on my heart.
This month I am in Washington DC performing with the beautiful and iconic CHER. By the time I head back home it will have been a week and a day since I left my boys. I return for one day and a half to take the journey across the globe to Australia to be an associate choreographer and again have the honor of performing with Ms. Cher at Marti Gras in Sydney. When I return home from that trip, which will also take a week I have only six days at home to cuddle and care for my son before needing to travel yet again for work. This time I’m heading to NYC with my husband, creating a new theme park show for RWS Entertainment group. It is an exciting time and I am so grateful my husband and I have started working as a team together. Grandma and grandpa are coming to Vegas to take care of our son while we go to work creating a super fun new show for other families to hopefully enjoy together making memories of their own. With all this on my mind though I am both heartbroken and excited but, the feeling of guilt weighs the heaviest on my heart, it is what keeps me up at night when I’m away and makes me question my choice to continue on this journey in the entertainment industry now that I have a son. Is this a selfish job to continue to do now? I question it all the time. But I feel such pride and accomplishment when I’m able to tackle a project and create something people can enjoy. Isn’t that a part of what I want to be teaching my son? To not be afraid to take on things out of your comfort zone and believe in yourself and the strength of a strong family that is able to lean on each other from time to time. To have pride in what you do and the strength to follow your dreams wherever they may lead you. The opportunities I’ve been afforded are like no other in the scheme of things and ones that many people would love to be a part of. I truly do feel so blessed to get to do the work I do but please know, I have worked my butt off for every opportunity and relationship and I don’t take them lightly at all! There is no doubt in my mind that both my son and husband know beyond a shadow of a doubt just how loved they are by me. They are told daily and to the point that when I ask Greyson, ”buddy you know how much mommy loves you right?” he's at the point (and only four) that he sometimes rolls his eyes and says ”ugh, yes mommy to the stars and moon and around the dwarf planets and all the way back home” because my son is obsessed with the solar system he knows just how far that means! Lol. But I never want him to feel neglected, abandoned or second fiddle to anything else in my life because at the end of the day both my husband and myself are doing it all to provide a safe and happy home for him. He is all that matters now and he must always know that. ❤️😇😢💔
Comment below and let me know what you think. Share your thoughts or your own personal concerns on the subject of juggling parenting and work ie. personal time management? I feel it sometimes helps to just say your concerns, fears, accomplishments, whatever out loud as to just get it off your chest and out into the universe. Thanks for reading. Much love to all... xxx Melanie